Things have been a bit quiet here since the reformat, myself sidestepping none of the blame. Dedication and insight have been elsewhere lately, trying to maintain daily duties without wanting to burn down the entire image. Virtual reality or any existence other than the current soiree of destruction appears to be so much more survivable. One can only gaze into the dark ravine for so long before grip becomes angry, before the soiled picture becomes blurred and distorted.
I have two quick comments, one stemming from an experience this morning that was a rude awakening in a ruder world, and the other which is sort of intertwined within it.
I awoke today to a vehicle that had been rifled through by some down-trodden filthy coward, unable or unwilling to make a life for themselves honestly, and somehow navigate this wasteland by thieving from those that are scratching together dirt to build a life. Having had my vehicle robbed twice before, I had prepared for a third encounter and removed anything of value or that had identifying information. The coward got away with maybe 40 cents in dusty change and a bunch of burned cds, I hope you like my strange taste in music you reptilian scum. But as the thief was able to break and enter without destroying a window, I was immediately thankful that they had the piece of mind to respect the glass atop the door. After reflecting on this experience, and trying to discover some insight from it, I cannot blame a small time criminal for following the example of its leaders. Overwhelmingly the thieves, cowards, frauds, charlatans, reptiles and genocidal eugenicists who commit these kind of crimes writ-large are implicated to a much higher degree than a singular coward, who either by chance or choice was forced to rifle through a lower class plebs vehicle searching for something of value to pilfer, plunder and transform into a living. Overwhelmingly the rulers of nations, and the non-elected rulers of nations and corpo-nations are much more culpable of forging a society of humans degraded to the level of sewer rats seeking left-behind bits of food, spoiling in gutters. My only choice and the thief's only choice are to continue scraping to survive in a fake economy, with paper money, while we all play our parts on a stage that has not reached intermission, or the third act. It resembles the dance of snow flakes. The illusion of society is the wind blowing the flakes this way or that, aimlessly. Or with the aim of gravity, ultimately pressuring flakes downward until they hit rock bottom, just as we will.
My second thought sidetracked from this first thought. It is perplexing how winners and losers are decided. Some are given nothing and end their lives with less. Some are given nothing and end up with some. But who is given nothing ever, ever reaches to grasp more than those given everything and leaving life with even more. There are true fuck ups in this world who benefit from and are provided with more as a result of fucking up. And then there is a dirty huddled mass of no ones, who are seen as the dirt of society. Those that push mops and service sector black-hole careers with no hope of ever escaping. They are the gears turning under the shiny hood of humanity. They are the blood of the vehicle, forever churning, and being burned by the driver. They are the humans working countless hours in thankless perpetuity. I have resigned to the fact that I am and will always be and stand with them. No amount of wealth or privilege afforded will ever kill the instinct inside that knows, genetically, something is not right with the world and will never be superceded without literally a complete civilizational rebirth. This rebirth will not be instigated by me alone, but when it occurs, I will join hands with all those who are beaten bruised and forgotten by the autocracy, return to the fields where our ancestors forged lives for millennia, and begin to rediscover what it means to live. Current conduct of life is soulless and diseased. Holding on for a temporary reprieve..